A Mother's Heart

First (and second) takes on motherhood .::. adoption .::. and family life

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Location: Dexter, Michigan, United States

Monday, March 21, 2005

Comments on Crowley's Article

Okay, I'm behind in my reading. I don't actually know a stay-at-home mom who's up to date! ;) Anyhow, when I came across this particular article, I considered it worthy of some extra thought. Although I don't often agree with Michael Crowley's take on life, I wholeheartedly stand with him on this particular topic. He doesn't pose any concrete solutions other than just taking a stand against commercialism and the messages that society on the whole is sending our kids, so that's where I think active parents who disciple their kids in faith can really make a difference.

What we as parents need to do is to teach our children (boys and girls, but for the sake of this post, I'm going to focus on girls) that they are valuable. They are valuable to us, for certain, but more importantly, they are valuable to God. When we bring in an Authority Who is greater than us (as parents), we remind our kids that we submit to God's authority as well, and we respond to His love with obedience and love. When our girls understand how precious they are to us and to God, their self-worth is pumped up a bit. And that increase in self-worth can make a huge difference in how they view themselves and they respond to the messages society sends (e.g., "You're not skinny/pretty enough," "You need XYZ to be happy," "You need to be sexual and alluring to get attention," etc.).

Additionally, I believe we do need to set firm boundaries and reject clearly what the outside influences are trying to teach our kids. If this means turning off the TV, then do it! If it means filtering the magazines that come in our homes, again--do it! There are wholesome choices in television watching and in reading material that will help to maintain our influence in our kids' lives, and I think we need to be seeking out those alternatives. It also requires a massive amount of diligence on our part. We need to be willing to engage our culture, not hide from it. We need to be active parents--willing to sit down with our kids and talk to them about what they've watched on TV (better yet, why not watch it with them?), about what they're reading, and about what messages they're getting at school. I don't think we need to use every opportunity to preach at them--our lives should be a testament to our kids, and we should use these opportunities to listen to what they have to say and then engage them. Challenge them to consider what God has to say about a particular topic and what standards He has for us as His children. Then apply those truths to your life as a parent and encourage your kids to apply them to their lives as well.

Andy Stanley & Reggie Joiner have an amazing teaching series out called "PG: Parental Guidance Required," and it focuses on how to influence your kids (leverage your influence) to strengthen your relationship with them and their relationship with God. I highly recommend the audio series, and I'm told there's now a small-group curriculum available with the same material in it. These are guys who are strongly committed to building Christian families and keeping them strong.

There are no short-term answers to this problem, and I really don't think it's going to get easier as our culture continues to spiral downwards. I do think that we can make a difference in the lives of our girls, but it's a battle that will be won one heart at a time.

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