Dividing Mothers....Again
Recently, someone on a parenting discussion board posted a link to an article about motherhood and breastfeeding. Ordinarily, this would not be news. But the point of the article seemed to be to try to divide mothers and set them against each other, yet again. So the rest of this post will make sense, I'll post the link here. So go read it now and then come back.
Okay, now you're back. My first response to this article was quite sarcastic--something along the lines of "I can hardly wait for the bashing of mothers to begin....NOT!" I was challenged by the original poster about my views on mothering and breastfeeding, and I wanted to state my views here as well. After all, it is *my* blog, right? ;)
Let me start off by saying that I do believe breastmilk is the best of all possible foods for babies, and I do believe it is optimum for mother and child to start their lives together this way. But let's face it, optimum isn't always plausible. And I don't believe that because a mother may make the best possible decision for her family and her health (and it may not include breastfeeding) that she should be scorned, ridiculed, or made to feel guilty or inferior for that decision. I'll also remind readers that I'm coming all this and all topics from a Christian worldview, and that the list on which this topic was broached is also a Christian forum. That said, here's my take on it.
Yes, breastfeeding is optimum. But so is a sinless existence in the Garden of Eden. *That* was shot to you-know-where with Adam & Eve's sin and only through the *grace* of God we are able to achieve that optimum level of living on the other side of this earthly life through Jesus' sacrifice. So talk of 'optimum' and 'best' pales when we consider what God's optimum and best was for us and how we don't have it. 'Optimum' in my world would be a sin-free and perfect existence, not just mothers breastfeeding for at least 6 months.
While God did indeed design women to breastfeed, there are some women who will never lactate even once--be it because of surgery to treat breast cancer, the fact that they've never given birth, or that they became a mother through some other means (adoption jumps to mind). Does this make their motherhood less than optimum? I would say no.
Our job as parents is to raise healthy children who (in the Christian worldview) learn to love God and live their lives for Him. Breastfeeding is not required for that. And to those who choose to condemn others who cannot maintain a milk supply or who are unable to breastfeed or who simply are not comfortable with that function of their bodies (this usually centers around some type of previous sexual abuse; I had a friend like this) and choose to feed with formula, I assert that they are GOOD mothers who are making the BEST choice they can for their families at that intersection of time and circumstances. Babies are *hungry* and they need *food*. Does it *really matter* what food they are fed, as long as it is nourishing their tiny bodies and they are growing?
I went through a situation when our son was newly weaned (after 6.5 mos of age) with a friend who just had her 4th child. She struggled with nursing--mostly because her body overproduced hormones related to letdown and milk production and when she nursed, she literally felt as if the world was coming to an end. She was also exceedingly tired and trying to care for the rest of her family and feeling as though she just couldn't do it all at the same time. She called me in tears one afternoon, wanting to talk about nursing. She was hormonal and struggling with condemnation, but she honestly felt as though she couldn't nurse her infant even one more time. My heart broke for her and as we talked, I assured her that her baby would be fine via formula and she *wasn't* a bad mom. We conversed about what parents did before the days of formula--the answers were wet nurses (if they were wealthy) or they used cow's or goat's milk. And infant mortality rates showed the poor options they had and the poor nutrition and medicine available to them.
Instead of condemning those who choose to feed their babies with formula, I *praise God for formula*--because it means that God has allowed our scientific knowledge to increase to a point where we can mimic breastmilk and feed our babies a healthy substitute that allows them to grow and not risk their lives.
For those reasons, I believe *grace* is required here--grace for those who choose differently than we do. That, and a *gratitude* for the understanding we now have how to make nutritious substitutes for what is considered the gold-standard of infant-feeding. I truly resent the opportunity that others with agendas take to politicize something as netural as how a baby is fed and tries to divide mothers and pit them against each other once again. The conception and birth of a child is a wonderful thing and should be celebrated. There shouldn't be anything that condemns a new mother who is trying to do the best she can for her baby and her health, and that includes someone else's political agenda.
Okay, now you're back. My first response to this article was quite sarcastic--something along the lines of "I can hardly wait for the bashing of mothers to begin....NOT!" I was challenged by the original poster about my views on mothering and breastfeeding, and I wanted to state my views here as well. After all, it is *my* blog, right? ;)
Let me start off by saying that I do believe breastmilk is the best of all possible foods for babies, and I do believe it is optimum for mother and child to start their lives together this way. But let's face it, optimum isn't always plausible. And I don't believe that because a mother may make the best possible decision for her family and her health (and it may not include breastfeeding) that she should be scorned, ridiculed, or made to feel guilty or inferior for that decision. I'll also remind readers that I'm coming all this and all topics from a Christian worldview, and that the list on which this topic was broached is also a Christian forum. That said, here's my take on it.
Yes, breastfeeding is optimum. But so is a sinless existence in the Garden of Eden. *That* was shot to you-know-where with Adam & Eve's sin and only through the *grace* of God we are able to achieve that optimum level of living on the other side of this earthly life through Jesus' sacrifice. So talk of 'optimum' and 'best' pales when we consider what God's optimum and best was for us and how we don't have it. 'Optimum' in my world would be a sin-free and perfect existence, not just mothers breastfeeding for at least 6 months.
While God did indeed design women to breastfeed, there are some women who will never lactate even once--be it because of surgery to treat breast cancer, the fact that they've never given birth, or that they became a mother through some other means (adoption jumps to mind). Does this make their motherhood less than optimum? I would say no.
Our job as parents is to raise healthy children who (in the Christian worldview) learn to love God and live their lives for Him. Breastfeeding is not required for that. And to those who choose to condemn others who cannot maintain a milk supply or who are unable to breastfeed or who simply are not comfortable with that function of their bodies (this usually centers around some type of previous sexual abuse; I had a friend like this) and choose to feed with formula, I assert that they are GOOD mothers who are making the BEST choice they can for their families at that intersection of time and circumstances. Babies are *hungry* and they need *food*. Does it *really matter* what food they are fed, as long as it is nourishing their tiny bodies and they are growing?
I went through a situation when our son was newly weaned (after 6.5 mos of age) with a friend who just had her 4th child. She struggled with nursing--mostly because her body overproduced hormones related to letdown and milk production and when she nursed, she literally felt as if the world was coming to an end. She was also exceedingly tired and trying to care for the rest of her family and feeling as though she just couldn't do it all at the same time. She called me in tears one afternoon, wanting to talk about nursing. She was hormonal and struggling with condemnation, but she honestly felt as though she couldn't nurse her infant even one more time. My heart broke for her and as we talked, I assured her that her baby would be fine via formula and she *wasn't* a bad mom. We conversed about what parents did before the days of formula--the answers were wet nurses (if they were wealthy) or they used cow's or goat's milk. And infant mortality rates showed the poor options they had and the poor nutrition and medicine available to them.
Instead of condemning those who choose to feed their babies with formula, I *praise God for formula*--because it means that God has allowed our scientific knowledge to increase to a point where we can mimic breastmilk and feed our babies a healthy substitute that allows them to grow and not risk their lives.
For those reasons, I believe *grace* is required here--grace for those who choose differently than we do. That, and a *gratitude* for the understanding we now have how to make nutritious substitutes for what is considered the gold-standard of infant-feeding. I truly resent the opportunity that others with agendas take to politicize something as netural as how a baby is fed and tries to divide mothers and pit them against each other once again. The conception and birth of a child is a wonderful thing and should be celebrated. There shouldn't be anything that condemns a new mother who is trying to do the best she can for her baby and her health, and that includes someone else's political agenda.
posted by Sue | 12:19 PM
1 Comments:
*raises hand*
Bottle-fed baby here. I turned out just fine. Had some ear/nose/throat problems when I was a youngster but that even happens to breast-fed babies, and I'm guessing it happens just about as frequently.
I was bottle-fed because I was born in 1962...part of a whole generation of kids whose mothers were told -- by physicians and other medical professionals -- that formula was just as good as, or better than, breast milk. We know now that this is not really the case, but I really don't think that it did much harm.
People need to stop fighting over this issue. You're absolutely right, Sue, it's nothing but divisive.
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