An Open Letter to Mike Straka

The following comment was posted by Mike Straka of Fox News in his weekly column; my response to Mike (sent directly to him as well) is below that.

"Carl's Jr. CEO Says 'Get a Life.' Grrr!"

So, fast food chain Carl's Jr. wants the Parents Television Council to lighten up. The PTC is mobilizing a million people to voice their displeasure at the restaurant's racy ad featuring Paris Hilton.

The chain's CEO Andy Puzder says they should "get a life."

To that I say, Amen, brother.

Enough is enough, isn't it? Look, people can find most anything offensive these days, and they have every right to. But the same rule applies for the people who don't find things offensive, doesn't it?

So don't buy a burger from Carl's Jr. -- big deal.

Let me ask you this question: Have you ever heard of Carl's Jr. before now? Exactly. The company used some shock value to get some attention, and boy, did it work. Everyone who is screaming about this needs to lighten up.

The commercial is sexy in a trashy sort of way, but it's also funny. In the end though, if the burger's good, the burger's good. Paris or no Paris.

You know, many of us think Hilton is dumber than a box of rocks. But she's not, folks. She's manipulating the system as good as any con artist. She's the new millennium's Madonna, and the more we protest her shenanigans, the longer she'll last, and the richer she'll get.

Get a life, and then Paris will go away once and for all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey Mike--

I wanted to point out another view on the sleazy ad that Carl's Jr hamburger chain has running on TV right now.

While you and Mrs. Grrr have the ability to control what Baby Maxine sees (or doesn't see) on TV at this age, you will discover as she grows that she takes in much more than you think she does. Those darned kids are learning at *every turn*, whether we want them to or not! LOL

So fast-forward in your mind, if you will, to 3 years from now when you're watching whatever sports programming you'd like with Mrs. Grrr and Baby Maxine is no longer "baby," but a preschooler on her way to precociousness extraordinaire. This ad is no longer running, but because the envelope was pushed and no one pushed back, an ad that is much worse is on during your sporting event. Little Maxine is now playing Little People or some other imaginary game, but the music from this ad grabs her attention and she sits rapt for 30 seconds, watching a woman gyrate across the screen, skimpily clad. As a dad, I'm relatively certain this is not the message you want your daughter to absorb from television, and I'm also relatively certain that you and Mrs. Grrr will do whatever you need to try to instill different values in your daughter.

But wouldn't it be easier if the popular culture wasn't fighting you every step of the way? Would it be better if our young daughters didn't have to see this sort of trash on TV to begin with? You might argue that we shouldn't let our kids watch this junk to begin with. I wholeheartedly agree! But my scenario isn't too far fetched to happen--the TV wasn't tuned to some "adult channel" that shouldn't have been on when Little Maxine was watching to begin with, it was simply a sports program. And you didn't anticipate that it wouldn't be safe to watch a little football/baseball/hockey/basketball/curling with your family and not have them assaulted by something like this. So how could you have prevented it in the first place?

You can't. Plain and simple.

So on behalf of the people who think this recent ad *needs* to be protested--not for the self-righteous adults who choose to watch instead of turning the channel, but for the innocent children of our society that are growing up too quickly and already have too much pressure put on them in general, I will respectfully disagree with you telling me to "get a life." I have a life--it's my family. And my job in life these days is to protect our son from these sorts of images (and worse). But how can I do that when this ad (and others like it) are blasted across the morning news at 7:00 a.m.? Am I supposed to anticipate that gyrating hips on a too-skinny-model-who-needs-a-ham-sandwich-with-extra-mayo will be a part of my family's morning breakfast routine?

I certainly hope not. And I don't plan to stand around and let it happen, either.

Thanks for hearing me out, Mike. From one concerned parent to another, there is more at stake here than just a group of adults who like to protest things. It's our kids' future and the messages that we adults send them about who they need to be, what they need to do, and where their self-worth comes from. I don't want my (future) daughter to have to choose between my words and examples and the media's words and examples--the media can scream a lot louder than I can and already attempts to negate my influence at every turn. I just want to level the playing field a bit.

What a Responsibility!

So we're in the midst of surgical-recovery here; Brendan had his tonsils & adenoids removed and his frenum snipped (he was tongue-tied) last week. Parenting a kid who's hopped up on an opiate (lortab) is VERY different than parenting a kid who isn't, let me tell you! ;0 We've already seen positive effects from the surgery--he no longer snores and he's now a nose-breather, both of which are very different than before the operation. He also put together the "t" and "r" sounds for the first time (ever!) the other day--a remarkable change from having his tongue freed in his mouth. But as I was saying, the lortab does seem to change my sweet-natured child in to something else--his core personality is there, but the impulse-control that he has had (as much as a 3 y/o has!) is gone, and because he's fighting the sleepies that the medication brings on, he's much crankier and sassy than he's been before. Now before you tell me it's just him being a typical toddler, I'll tell you that when we do correct him (more gently and with more leeway than BL [before lortab]), he's immediately repentant and recognizes what he's done wrong. So that tells me that his normal sweet-spirit is down there somewhere, under the side effects of the medication. So I wait for him to heal (it's been 7 days today since the operation) and wean him off the opiate as we go. ;)

But that's not the point of this entry. Just before Brendan's surgery, we attended the Grow Up Conference in Alpharetta, GA, put on by North Point Community Church. North Point is the congregation that has spear-headed the "relevant ministry" movement that is going on now (although there are many other "emergent churches" out there at the moment), and they started the KidStuf program that Generations (our church) uses. So this was a chance to get new ideas and get "re-fueled" at a place that shares our heart for ministry to families.

This year's conference was amazing--God really used it to confirm what my heart wants to do (minister to families) and give me direction beyond what I had already. I came away encouraged! This is what I wanted to share specifically about the conference: one of the main speakers (Reggie Joiner) had his annual session "Enlist the Family" (i.e., in ministry). He talked about the superiority of involving parents in family ministry over letting paid professionals (church staff) and volunteers (Sunday School teachers) do the work of discipling our kids. Keeping in mind that I've fully bought in to this model of ministry and think it's much more effective than the "old model" in general, this really struck me. Reggie brought out a small scooter--8HP, maxed out at 40mph, a little 2-cycle engine. This is the "let the church do the discipling" model. Church staff and volunteers have 40 hours in one year to reach your kid(s) with the truths of the Gospel. That's one work-week spread out over the course of the year--including illness, vacation, and holidays. Not very much, considering the time an average 4th grader spends in front of video games per week. Then someone rode out a 2005 Honda NightHawk Special Edition motorcycle. This monster has 125HP and does 0-60mph in 4.1 seconds--it will beat a Maserati off the line! This is the "enlist the family" model of discipleship. Parents have 2500 hours in one year to reach their kids with the truths of the Gospel--nearly 63 times more impact that staff and volunteers can have. Churches can choose the model they want to use, but me? I'm choosing that Special Edition NightHawk and the power that comes with it!

Now juxtapose this object lesson with what we heard in our small-group curriculum "Parental Guidance Required" ( see this post ). Andy Stanley talked about some imaginary "dials" that we parents can "tune in" for our kids' lives. The dials are "Relationship with Parents," "Relationship with God," and "Relationships with Others." His basic point was that as parents, we have the ability to adjust the dials to impact our kids and their lives with maximum impact from us and from God--if we so choose. Instead of letting others have more impact in our kids' lives than we do (or than God does, for that matter), we have the opportunity to put a *relationship* with our kids on the front burner and to impact their lives more than anyone else. We can teach our kids about God (or not), we can teach our kids our values (or not), and we can teach our kids that although we are their parents (and with that comes massive responsibility), we are also there to build relationship with them. That they are more important than *stuff* if our lives and we will live like that.

Wow--what a responsibility we have! We won't be judged in the afterlife on what we drove or how much we stashed away for a rainy day, but we will be required to give account of what we did with the children God gave us to raise and how we taught them about Him and His great love for us. Now that, my friends, is discipleship. And again, what a responsibility we have!

In case you're interested in a great tune, check out Casting Crowns' song "American Dream" when you have a moment. It's an updated version of Harry Chapin's "Cat's in the Cradle" and I'll wager that you won't be able to listen to it without having your emotions stirred up.