Happy Thanksgiving!

It's very easy to wallow in sorrow and grief...and to forget that you have things that you're actually grateful for. And it seems weird in the midst of intense grief to have a happy and joyful anything, much less a holiday.

But the facts are simple: I truly am grateful, not only on this day, but every day. Thanksgiving is just one day in which we get to catalogue and think about our blessings on the way to cataloguing and thinking about our holiday shopping lists for tomorrow. Pity, that. I think if spent more time counting our blessings and less time fighting crowds at the mall if our whole holiday season wouldn't be different altogether. Scratch that--I *know* it would.

Regardless, in the midst of family trauma such as we've had, I'm so very grateful for the following:

*My family--all of us. Our little threesome is fun and there are so many things to celebrate on a daily basis, and our extended family adds much joy to the mix too.

*My marriage--although we've had some rocky times, it's a good, strong relationship. I'm so grateful for that wonderful husband I have!

*My home--maintained by a job that we're looking to jettison (another story), but even for that job that frustrates us many days, I'm grateful. For without it, this home wouldn't be possible.

*My friends--some of whom are as close as siblings (twin siblings, to boot!), all of whom are loving, giving individuals, and all of whom without we would live a poorer life.


Now of course there are more things for which I'm grateful, and the fact that I'm counting blessings at all indicates that my faith is a major part of my life. For if I didn't Believe, then to Whom would I give my thanks? But that's another entry.

In the midst of a sad time, we spent a day with friends who helped us remember the sweeter and funnier side of life, and who were happy to take my $5 at the poker table. ;) Ah well...what is it they say? "A fool and her money are soon parted." Yep, well....What can I say?

May your Thanksgiving be more than a blur on the race to the mall tomorrow and may you truly count all the things and people which enrich and bless your life. Happy Thanksgiving!

Remembering Emily Grace

It has been 18 days since we lost Emily Grace, and in last night's mail was a CD and DVD of pictures that were used during the visitation and funeral. I made copies of the CD and will have a friend make copies of the DVD for distribution in the family. What I can't believe is how much "life" goes on in spite of the grief and how callous that seems, even to me who has to go on with "life." Despite the grief, my family needs to eat, bills have to be paid, and Mark must go to work. So I thought this was a good time to remember our niece and post some pictures as a bit of a memorial. I cannot watch the DVD yet--while I could during the funeral, I recognize that the numbness has worn off and it's simply too painful right now. I also have a special project I'll work on for Wendy & Brian, but at the moment, even that is too hard for me.

Pictures here range from infancy (with those gigantic eyes and silly smile) to early toddlerhood. She was a carbon copy of her Dada at birth and morphed in to the spitting image of her Mama, especially at the same age. It absolutely stunned me--this child was the exact image of her mother--her mother that I remember from our childhood! Her transformation kept us mesmerized, and she was the most vocal and vibrant of the Gutreuter family.



What a treat she was and how deeply she is missed. It seems as though the fog we are walking through is thick and memories hit us as inopportune times, yet we know how much harder it is for my sister and brother-in-law and their surviving children. Emily Grace ("of the beautiful face," as my parents always added) will be held in our hearts forever and is missed deeply.

We await our reunion in Heaven, sweet girl. Dance in the arms of Jesus until we arrive!