Job Hunt Update

So our job-hunt continues. We've been approached by numerous headhunters, some of whom are good, and some of whom are terrible. ;0 Seriously--have you ever heard of someone who is presumably an adult and cannot follow simple directions? I had one headhunter call during the middle of the day and ask for Mark. I explained that he was at work and she asked if it was okay to call him on his cell (the number is on his resume). She was quite snippy and I explained to her that no, it was *not* okay. Mark doesn't want to be contacted at work; I'd be happy to give him a message to call her when he comes home. That (apparently) wasn't good enough--she proceded to call him on his cell after hanging up with me. She was snarky with him as well, and we determined then and there that if a supposed professional couldn't follow simple directions, she probably didn't have a very good rapport with clients, either. And we don't want someone like that representing our family!

All of that aside, we will be turning down an offer this week. While it wasn't a bad offer, it wasn't in an area where we feel called or know anyone at all. Friends of ours relocated last year to an area far from their family and friends and have found the job to be...well, not what was promised. While this in and of itself isn't terrible, they are also locked in to the company due to a clause in the contract regarding relocation services, and they have no support system in place where they are. So we are attempting to learn from someone else's "wishiwouldaknown" experience.

Mark & I have both had very eerie, very similar experiences that we consider to be prophetic in nature, or at least, a sign from God that we really are meant to be in one particular locale. So hang on, Lucy...we're comin'! :) We've decided to wait it out; the job offer/relo package that we're turning down is the first one we've received, and we know that Mark's skills are superior and that other offers will come. We're hopeful about one particular company that indicated an interest in interviewing Mark, but we're also not hanging any hats on that hook at the moment.

We're excited and nervous at the same time about the changes our family will undertake this year. It's exciting to think of new opportunities and the ability to continue on in our adoption (which right now is on hold), but it's nerve-wracking (a bit!) to consider leaving all of which we find comfortable and familiar. The idea of a new area and new routines are enough to send each of us running for different bathrooms from time to time, so we try not to obsess about it or get ahead of God. ;)

So as we wait, we continue to pray about the timing, the details, and the right job. I don't want to move my family 350 miles in any direction for the wrong job; we already have a not-so-hot job and I'm content to wait here for the right one. :)

~The Twins~ 

So Who ARE You? Thoughts on a Christian "Bar Mitzvah"

Yesterday we had a wonderful opportunity to celebrate the life of a 13 year old and welcome him to adulthood. His parents have studied Hebrew traditions and decided that they would use the 13th birthday to welcome their son (and I'm sure their other children when they achieve this status) to manhood. It's a cool idea, and one that Mark & I have intended to use for Brendan, although we have a good 10 years to plan it at this point. ;)

The concept comes from a time when there were no "teenage" years, "angst" wasn't something that was expected, and "rebellion" wasn't as common as it is now. The Nuer tribe uses the 13th birthday to welcome a boy to manhood by cutting grooves in the boy's forehead. If the boy does well and doesn't flinch at the pain, his scars will indicate that he entered manhood well and that he is now a full-adult member of the tribe. Young men were just that--young *men* and although they were young, they weren't treated like children or those caught in-between childhood and adulthood. They were simply seen as men.

Which brings me to today's culture and the teenaged angst, rebellion, and expectation of foolishness during the teenaged years. My thought is that if we simply conferred adulthood on young people at the ripe old age of 13 and began to teach them how to be adults and treated them as such, we might avoid some of the "stuff" that has come to symbolize the teen years in America. Of course, this idea isn't popular with marketers or retailers--they've come to profit from the very things that parents would like to avoid.

So back to our friends' son's "bar mitzvah." His parents asked significant men in his life to speak to him and talk to him about being a man. It was quite moving to hear these different guys in different stages of life speak about becoming a man. One guy in particular really stuck in my mind, and as Mark and I discussed it, there was a lot of meat in what this gentleman shared.

He began by asking the birthday boy, "Who ARE you?" And of course, the expected answer was his name. But that's not what this gentleman was asking. And so asking it again and again, he began to expound on the idea that yes, this boy was entering manhood. But more than that, as he had expressed faith in Jesus, he was a child of the living God. This position (more than manhood) brings about certain rights, privileges, and expectations--a quiet (not cocky) confidence, a peace, an assurance, etc., that will help him be the man that God desires him to be. They will also shape who he becomes as he continues to grow and learn about being a man.

It was quite stirring and made me realize that while Brendan is young, we have the opportunity to raise him to understand some of this. It will become more apparent when we confer upon him the position of manhood at age 13, and we make it a rite of passage for him. I have some things that I'm saving already for that time--books, movies, other things that have made an impression on us.

Now I'm quite certain that conferring adulthood upon a 13 year old (male or female) will not eliminate all bad choices and all emotional upheaval that comes with raging hormones, etc. Some of that simply can't be avoided. But what I am confident of is that our kids, understanding they *are* adults at that point and that we expect them to learn how to be adults and act like adults while they're learning, will be assured of who they ARE and will walk in to full adulthood with a greater concept of being a man (or woman) of God.

Response to a "Meanie"

An Open Note to Fellow Christian Adoptive Parents:

Someone recently directed my attention to another blog that is simply a dumping ground for anger and hatred. Not that I begrudge anyone the right to free speech (by any stretch), but I'm amazingly sad by the things I read there.

The blog (which I won't give any free publicity here) is owned by a future-adoptive parent. That in and of itself doesn't sound too bad, but if it ended there, it wouldn't be. This author has used his site to bash other adoptive parents who hold beliefs and faith that he [the author] doesn't, and instead of building up the adoptive community, he has chosen to tear down. It's sad, pathetic, and quite sophomoric.

So why waste time and space on it here? Mostly because I think a site like this can pose a valuable learning opportunity for those of us who hold Faith dear and who attempt to share their joy of their growing families. We are united as parents; not by our parenting methods, per se, but our love for our children and the joy at having them placed in our arms, being ever so grateful to God (Who gave them to us, via a communist government) and their birthmothers who gave them up. We have chosen to raise them in a community of faith, having found that our Faith gives us hope, peace, and more love to share.

Jesus spoke clearly in Matthew 7:6 when He told us not to "cast your pearls before swine. The swine will trample them and then turn and attack you!" He was speaking of sharing the sacred with those who live and breathe in the profane (secular)--and warning us that if we aren't careful, our lack of prudence in this matter could get us hurt. Does this mean that we are to cloister ourselves away and not share anything with those who have yet to come to Faith? No--not in the least. It simply means that we use care and caution when sharing about our lives with those who don't value what we do. We walk it out before we talk it out, so to speak. Our actions (of love and kindness) will speak far more than our words ever will. We have an amazing opportunity as Christian parents to share the amazing, life-changing love of Jesus to those who don't know Him, and that includes those of us in the adoptive community.

So share your Faith and beliefs--but be prudent in where you share and what you share. In a word--be careful. And if you can't avoid the hatred and ugliness, simply leave. Let it stay where it is and depart the area. Shake the dust off your feet, as it were. God will bring you many more who believe as you do and who can share your joy and comfort you in sorrow. Use the comfort that comes from being united in Faith (Philippians 2:1 ff) and encourage each other (Heb. 3:13). That said, go love on your kids and thank God for building your family as He has! :)

Let's Drop the Puck!!!

Okay, since I griped about our lack of a hockey season several months ago, I'm going to post about the new labour-agreement and our upcoming hockey season now. :)

My first words are, "Hallelujah! It's about danged time!" When I received the news that October 5 would be The Drop of The Puck and that all 30 franchises will be playing that night, the rush I had was exhilarating. You probably think I'm completely deranged by now, but honestly--for a true hockey fan, this past year has been a slow torture for me.

The fact that the players' union and the owners could come together on a labor agreement is something close to amazing to me--they stalled over a mere $7M difference in the spring. $7M--a mere spit in the bucket for all parties involved! But now that's behind us, and now the rebirth of the NHL will take place.

I have a friend who is a massive doubter when it comes to the NHL and hockey fans in general, but I forgive him, because he's from So. California. Okay, they have the LA Kings, but he's not a hockey fan--he's a San Diego Padres fan. And he's comparing the hockey-strike to how the baseball-strike of however-many-years-ago devastated the fan base of that sport. It's a reasonably fair comparison, except for one thing: the fans. What my friend doesn't comprehend is that northern climates LIVE for hockey. Gimme a break--like there's that much to do in Canada in the winter?? ;) And while baseball fans turned out to be largely fair-weather, hockey fans are used to bad-weather--namely, cold and snow. So when the freeze-out of the sport they love actually thaws, they'll be back, loyal as ever. Baseball has some decent competition in terms of type of sport (how many other sports use a ball and run?), but hockey has no competition. The only other things that are done on ice (not including than ice fishing) are figure skating and curling. Neither of which deal with speed, puck handling, or goalies who have slinkies for spines. ;) So if you're a fan, let's prove my Padre-loving friend wrong, eh?

And hey, if you're a Wing-Nut, you know we've got Brendan Shanahan signed for another year....And that's GOOD news, on top of the impending season! :)

(*muttering to self*...now if we can just make sure that Yzerman is on board....)