Foxtrot

by Bill Amend, published 3.22.06

Although I don't have a child quite like Jason Fox (thank you, God!), I do remember using this ploy on my mother as a pre-teen. Now that I'm a mom, it's quite fitting and rather humourous, although I don't remember my mom being quite so amused. ;)

Random Ramblings

I've had some random thoughts tumbling around in my noggin for a bit, and thought I'd put them down and think about some other stuff for a while. ;) So you're subjected to them at this reading. ;)

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We've Struck OIL! (Follow up)

We tried coconut oil and have effectively switched from canola oil (which I *thought* was healthy, but which is NOT). The Switch has been painless in our home; the first time I tried using coconut oil, the boys didn't even know it was there. :) I cooked scrambled eggs with it, and there was no trace of coconut flavour or scent, but it did a great job with keeping the eggs from sticking to my pan. I purchased "centrifuged, extra virgin" coconut oil from Family Wilderness, and have been pleased. I'll go back and buy more eventually, but I don't use it that often. Liquid oil has been switched over to sesame, but I may still try grapeseed oil, which (apparently) has more flavinoids due to its red colour. We like sesame oil (the darker stuff used in Chinese and Japanese cooking), and the lighter stuff (refined) is good, but because it IS refined, it doesn't have as nutty a flavour as the darker kind. I will keep both on hand and use them for different purposes.

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No Results (yet)

Several of you have asked about Emily and if a cause of death has been pinpointed. The short answer is "no." The longer answer is "No, not yet."

The coroner in WI called Wendy and Brian and asked if he could get more records and continue his research. He is not satisfied with signing off on the death certificate yet and wants to continue to dig. So we wait, but I don't think any of us is counting on anything being found. It's hard enough losing a child, but if we strung ourselves out by waiting for an answer with baited breath, I don't know how any of us would cope.

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Are We an Obsessed Culture, or What?

I was reading a magazine a few weeks ago and saw a large ad for an anti-depressant. Normally, this isn't news. But what I read and what it triggered in my brain deserves to be written.

The ad was for Zoloft, a relatively common anti-depressant. Usually, these ads talk about some vague "sexual side effects" and that's about it; this one didn't mention that side effect at all. Instead, in large bold print, it said, "Taking Zoloft is not linked to weight gain." Harmless enough a statement, right?

But is it *really*? The fact that the drug company felt obliged or saw it necessary to put that wording in their ad (directed at consumers, as this was not a medical professionals' magazine) leads me to think that some people might not treat their depression for fear of gaining weight. How backwards is THAT?

Seriously--as if gaining weight is such a horrible thing that it's worse than DEPRESSION? As if when the depression (and its root) is treated, weight loss via whatever healthy means desired cannot be achieved?

I'll be honest here: this scares me. You may be thinking I'm overreacting here, but I'll tell you why I don't think I am. Every time you turn on the news, there's something about this "growing epidemic of obesity" (pun intended). Every time you go down a grocery-store aisle or try to check out, there are products and magazines that have a "new" diet or a "new way of eating." Or worse, "LOOK! So-and-so Starlet has lost 67 pounds and is now down to a beautiful size 0!" on a women's magazine. Our perspective has been lost. Utterly shot to heck here, folks.

It used to be that women who were considered beautiful were of average size--size 12. Now, a size 12 is "plus sized" in the world of modeling. And now girls and women who are emaciated are "examples" for all of us.

I'm not saying that I wouldn't like to slim down a bit--Lord knows that I try on a daily basis--I watch my food intake and exercise. But if I never lose a pound, I have to be satisfied with myself--I'm healthy (my cholesterol, BP, and everything else is in good shape) and I'm active. And I'm more than my dress-size, for sure. But when someone loses a great deal of weight and another comments on "how beautiful she is NOW" (intimating that this person wasn't before, when the only thing that has changed is the amount of cellulite and clothing size), I have to wonder where the perspective is. Chances are that the person was beautiful before the weight loss, but wasn't matching up to what we've all been programmed to think is "beautiful." After all, if someone isn't attractive, it's generally more than his or her size that makes him or her unattractive.

So back to my original point: if we are extending the message that it's more important to be slim than to be mentally and emotionally healthy, aren't we just saying that we're willing to trade one form of mental and emotional illness for another? And aren't we willing to sacrifice health in general for this commitment to rail-thin "beauty"? If my perception is right and we are willing to do that, then we have many more problems than we think we do.

It's time to embrace health and beauty however it comes. No matter what the size package or how much it goes against what Hollywood and Madison Avenue tell us.

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Cinnamon

Last little update, I promise.

I've been reading on the PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome boards that some women have been having success by taking cinnamon supplements.

Yes, that's the same stuff that you might sprinkle on oatmeal or in a cappucino. ;) It's capsules filled with the stuff, and I managed to find 600mg caps online.

Anyhow, I'm taking 2 capsules with my 2 largest meals (which, since I'm only hungry twice a day is lunch and dinner), and so far, so good. :) They're easy to take and have had an effect on my insulin levels (for the better).

I gave the supplements the "acid test" on Thursday night and ate a few potato slices with dinner. Normally, a few bites would send me over the top with an insulin spike, but taking 2 cinnamon caps after dinner seemed to prevent that. Yippee to that! I'm not going to start carb-loading, but it's nice to know that if I cannot avoid something like a bit of potato that I'm not going to suffer for it all night long.

It is a good thing I like cinnamon, though...I do get "cinnamon burps" with it, and reportedly, one woman actually burped and puffed out a cloud of cinnamon. ;) Hasn't happened to me yet, but Mark is anxiously awaiting that event and wants me to announce each time I need to burp so he can watch. ;) What a goof of a husband I have! ;)

Emily's Birthday

Today should have been Emily's 3rd birthday. Instead, it's a day when we remember her and wish she hadn't left our presence prematurely. Oh, that it were any other way!

I made a special 7x7 scrapbook of Emi for Wendy & Brian last month...it was truly the hardest thing I've ever scrapped. It took me two days to put it together and it made me sick to my stomach the entire weekend. I think it was because I shouldn't have had to put an album together for one who was so small.... I was pleased with the final outcome, but still had a hard time sending it off--as much of a tribute and gift as it was, I didn't want to make Wendy any sadder than she is already.

I spoke with her yesterday; she was anticipating a hard day today. They have wonderful support from their church, but as much as they're grateful for that, they really wish they had no need for that support. And so the grieving continues.

I am about to start some grief counseling myself. I thought I could muddle through this on my own, but my lack of coping with the grief and sadness I feel and the stress of job-hunting and the impending relocation had me reeling for several months. So I'm taking some meds that help me cope better and will begin seeing a therapist (hopefully) next week.

Our memories of Emi Grace will never fade, but I know the intense grief will eventually subside. In the meantime, we all find ways to cope and pray another family never has to experience what we have.

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Rest in Jesus' arms, sweet girl. We'll see you soon and will miss you every day until we are reunited in Heaven.